6/14/2004 2:50PM in Trenabies Café. Last few hours in the Orkneys, since I’m catching the Northlink Ferry back to Aberdeen at 11:45PM (arrives at 7:00AM!). Cute mulletted girl had mentioned this cafe as the only place in Kirkwall to get coffee ‘like starbucks’. Yeah, well, everywhere else it’s instant coffee. She actually likes that stuff, especially ‘Kenco’. The scone with ‘clotted cream’ was actually quite good, and it’s good to finally sit down in a warm place. The wind-blown drizzle outside stings the face, though the sky is now marginally brighter than before. I can’t really afford to ‘take tea’ like this, but there’s not a lot to do in Kirkwall on a day like this. Last thing to try in Scotland: haggis.

* The many smells of Orkney: the briney odor of sea spray, the heavy reek of cow manure, the nostalgic acridness of fireplaces, and the spicy muddy (‘laphroigh’) smoke of peat fires. Today, the dominant flavor is cow dung.

* Only in Scotland: Safeway brand generic SINGLE MALT whiskey. About 15 pounds per bottle, which isn’t that cheap. Nothing really is here. On sale, the local distillery’s ‘Highland Park’ single malt goes for 20 pounds a bottle. (brings to mind a certain town in central jersey)

* Frustration in ‘paradise’: Kirkwall is a ‘friendly’ city, but also home to a quiet ambivalence and desperation. This is most visible in its garbage littering youth (AC/DC shirts are really popular here), and the heavy drinking. Residents apparently knocked down many of the standing stones at the Ring of Brodgar, and someone intentionally let their sheep into the fenced-off lot where the Stones of Stenness are. I consider it vandalism, or worse, sabotage.